Thursday, December 3, 2015

What Didn't Kill Me, Never Made Me Stronger

This is going to be a short blog post because I'm just in from work.
I absolutely hate the phrase "what didn't kill me made me stronger". Because that didn't work for me. Seeing my dad go from being healthy, and hard working, doing everything himself, practically saving the world as he worked, to not being able to do anything for himself. To see the cancer take over. To watch him die in front of me. That sure as shit did not make me stronger. 
The panic attacks, depression, anxiety, the crippling grief. That's not making me stronger. It's not making me weaker either per se, but it still hasn't made me more resilient, more capable to deal with bad situations. I was always able to do that. I can bounce back so quickly from bad things. It's just who I am. That didn't suddenly happen when shit hit the fan. And I hate when people say that I'll be stronger because of all this. Like that makes it worth it. 

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